No One Cares

I am going to be honest and I am going to get some heat for this…

No one cares.

I know that sounds harsh and cynical, but hear me out.

Take your Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram friends. Look at how many “friends” you have on each. How many of those “friends” do you actually communicate with on said social media site (likes, comments, private messages, replies, etc.)? How many of those “friends” actually communicate with you?

So why do you feel this need to share every single detail of your life with acquaintances who do not care for the details, many of whom you have never met? Call me old school, but I think certain things are best kept between your closest family and friends.

Sure, there are events that are understandable to share like a status about your engagement, marriage, pregnancy/birth of child, or new job. However, there is such thing as sharing TOO much.

Here is the difference between a sufficient amount of information and TMI:

An acceptable status:  “Billy Bob and I are having a girl!”

A TMI status: “Ugh, the third trimester sucks. Thankfully, I have the sweetest hubby who went out and bought me some of my favorite ice cream:  STRAWBERRY! How sweet is he? Baby girl is kicking! Here are the latest ultrasounds! (insert picture here)”

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If I care at all, I only care enough to know that you and Billy Bob are having a girl. I do not need a mental image of your pregnancy. And, honestly, I could go the rest of my life without seeing an ultrasound of your baby…inside of you. Same way I only care enough to know you were recently engaged or married; I do not necessarily need to know your wedding itenerary or if you are going to use baby’s breath or roses. When you go on your honeymoon, I do not care to see 10 different pictures of your mojito, glued to your hand, and seems to travel around Cancun with you.

Be mysterious. Let people actually be excited for you when you tell them the details in person. Here is a shocking idea:  SURPRISE PEOPLE!

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(My Version) of 23 Things to Do Instead of Getting Engaged Before You’re 23

My friend and I began a tally of people we knew who were engaged as of the Christmas and New Year’s season. I think he reached about 6 couples, and I counted about 4. It does not help that every time I log onto Pinterest, the bride-to-be has mapped out the entire wedding.

I understand. Though many people may consider me the single cat lady, I too would like to get married some day…but not right now.

Let me tell you what I was like during 2013:  During student teaching, I decided I realllllly did not want to teach. Ever. I graduated with a degree that I no longer wanted. However, I found a Master’s program that I am absolutely in love with. Until recently, I was glued to my cell phone like a teenager. I probably had a “crush” on at least 8 guys. More than once, I was determined to cut ties with some “friends” (but never did). At 22, I finally found the sport in which I am talented:  archery. I acted like a 22 year old during 2013.

Though I am pursuing my Master’s, I have no idea where it will take me. At least 50% of the time, I have no idea what I am doing. I still live with my mom and dad. I do not even know what tomorrow will hold for me. And that is exciting and beautiful. It makes me feel young (which I am)!

I am really confused. What is so great about being engaged/married before or at 22/23 years old? Maybe being engaged/married so young is enticing to my age group because it is like playing in The Hunger Games; Effie may be cheering the young couple on, but let’s be honest, the odds are not really in their favor.

I will admit, all of these engaged/married couples make me question myself. “Why am I single? Is there something wrong with me? Is my window of opportunity gone?” Then, I quickly realize how silly I sound. I am awesome. I am pursuing my Master’s, I am independent, I still get to hang out with whoever I want, I do whatever I want, I made a career/degree change to make myself happier, I work with WKU athletes, and the list goes on.

I am living MY life.

I agree with Vanessa Elizabeth in “23 Things to Do Instead of Getting Engaged Before You’re 23”

     I can’t help but feel like a lot of these unions are a cop-out.

     It is a way for young people to hide behind a significant other instead of dealing with life’s highs and lows on their own. It’s a safety      blanket. It’s an admission that the world is just too big and scary to deal with it on your own; thus, you now have someone that is          legally obligated to support you till one of you dies or files for divorce…

     If your love is truly eternal, what’s the rush? If it’s real, that person will continue to be committed to you 2 months from now, 2 years      from now, and 2 decades from now. Grow, learn, travel, party, cuddle, read, explore. Do. Freaking. Something… other than “settle      down” at 23 with a white picket fence.

 Because you owe it to yourself.  You are a human being that deserves to thrive inside AND outside of a relationship.

I will get some heat from Bridezillas on Facebook and Twitter. They will probably delete me as a “friend” and compile a list of reasons why they are so much better than me because they are engaged or married. So while they fret over which shade of blue they will use on their wedding invitations, here is my version of 23 Things to Do Instead of Getting Engaged Before You’re 23:

  1. Pursue [even] higher education
  2. Take up a new hobby
  3. Learn to play an instrument
  4. Work a fun part-time job or begin the job of your dreams
  5. Adopt a pet
  6. Go to Hawaii
  7. Create a blog or YouTube channel
  8. Watch the entire How I Met Your Mother series (9 seasons)
  9. Take selfies like no one is watching
  10. Cut ties with “friends” that are not making you happy
  11. Have a designated tea or coffee time (mine is 4pm)
  12. Discover your style (I personally gravitate toward Kate Middleton’s style)
  13. Hang out with friends of the opposite sex
  14. Hang out with your parents whenever you can
  15. Figure out what issues are truly important to you and fight for them
  16. Learn more about U.S. History & Government so you may be a more educated citizen
  17. Enjoy the silence
  18. Create a Vine account, and make vines that you think are funny, but are really not.
  19. Watch the following movies:  Shawshank Redemption, The Last of the Mohicans, Legends of the Fall, and the Robert Redford version of The Great Gatsby
  20. Read the following books and/or book series:  The Hunger Games, the Divergent series, The Great Gatsby, and a biography about your favorite celebrity or historical person
  21. Paint something, even if it turns out horrible
  22. Go to as many sporting events as possible
  23. Learn to be independent

How Pinterest Has Ruined Marriages

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Okay, so Pinterest has not really ruined marriages. However, I think the website has created this cult of women who do not desire a loving marriage, but a fantasy wedding. It does not matter who they marry, as long as their dream wedding comes true. I have seen both engaged and single (yes, single) women pin their entire wedding:  venue, gown, cake, color scheme, food, hair, makeup, flowers, and so on. The captions of the pins read:  “OMG, totally happening at my wedding…GOT TO HAVE THIS…This gown, but with lace…” Without attending their weddings (or fantasy wedding), I already know exactly how it will look.

Save it, sister.

Pinterest is obviously a great place to store your ideas. Planning a wedding is a big deal, in no way am I saying it is not. Since this is such a special event, I believe the planning should be shared with the fiance, family, and close friends:  not the rest of the world. Honestly, a few wedding pins here and there is tolerable; it is when the pins become 20 a day…from the Victoria’s Secret panty that will be worn under the dress to the chalkboard “Mr. & Mrs.” sign. If you REALLY need to pin your ideas for future reference, create a private board. Plus, it is more fun to surprise the guests! Imagine if Kate Middleton had pinned her entire wedding; there would have been less anticipation.

Less wedding pins and more casserole recipes would be great (and beneficial to my rumbling stomach)!

Love,

Hannah